Monday, February 14, 2005

BE STRONG

I have been doing some thinking lately mostly about everything that is going on in my life and this voice in my head tells me to BE STRONG. But I wonder in being strong do you have to give up a part of yourself? Do you have to compromise a piece of your soul?
I spoke to MR. JERKOFF over the weekend and to my amazement he is expect sympathy or even empathy from me. I asked him how can he expect any if that from me when he just turned my life and our daughter’s life upside down. And he did it all without even a thought about how his daughter would feel about spending time without her father. Because the end result is that he most like going to have to do some jail time and even 6 months is going to be a lot for my daughter to deal with.

I got the lecture last night again from my family about how of course I want to get married and have another baby. They just don’t believe me when I say I know in my heart; in my gut that I will never get married and as for more babies that won’t happen either. I love my daughter with all my heart but I never want to go through of that again for me it wasn’t fun.

I have explained over and over how no man will be staying in my home. I don’t want her getting close to any man that might get involved with me. For me my personal life is my personal life and I don’t want man intruding on my daughter and mine’s time either.
I will be the first to admit YES I do have trust issues but I would rather have trust issues then allow the possibility of some guy coming into my home taking advantage of little Angel.

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