EVERY WHERE YOU LOOK

I talked early about how my bed-buddy is Mr. Negativity says there are things that I can not do. Well I just got off the phone with my sister earlier and I was telling about how my mother is so forgetful and hard she can make things. Basically I need a new lap top cause my old one…which is like from the 80’s or something like that and it’s as heavy as hell. So my mother tells me that her friend can get me a new lap top from Dell for only $250 so who would pass on that deal. Well that was three weeks ago and I have been told every week next week. So now I don’t want to wait for her friend…who by the way I don’t know. So I told her to take my $250 back and put it towards and I’ll pay the monthly bill after that.

Now here is where my sister comes in she doesn’t get why I still do things like that with my mother when she one usually over charges me, loses that bill& forgets to tell me when the bill comes in. And why don’t I take the money and start fixing my credit and just do it myself.

So I basically told that it is going to take a lot more then $20 a month to fix my credit and I NEED the lap top. I believe now is my time to invest in self considering no one else has. If I don’t believe in my writing who will. Really?!

MY mistake was talking to my sister about it.

I THINK THAT I AM BOB VILLA

So I have this idea for my bed and I am dying to build it. Now I am not one of those girls that waits for a guy to come alone to put something together. NO, NO! I can do it on my own.

And the last two time I waited for a guy to help me move my room around they never came and I moved my WHOLE room on my own Queens size bed and all. (Now I have a King Size bed)

So anyway I've had this thought for my bed so that it can be both a book shelf as well my bed frame. And then I can put my book shelves in my daughter's room (because I have been waiting for 3 years for her father to buy her a book shelf and I now know that it will never happen) which she needs. The girl has a million movies and books.

So I show my bed-buddy (Mr. Negativity) my design and OF COURSE he said that I couldn't do it. And it would be a waste of time. But the best (which made no sense) he said "Oh it's going to be too big just buy a bed frame." So I told him "if I buy a King size bed frame or build one it will be the same thing. My bed is big."

But the thing that burns me is that he swears that I just can't do it. It just makes me want to run out today and buy all the material and build it today. So I can prove his negative ass wrong.

He forgets who I am "I AM WONDER WOMAN"!!!

BEING FAKE

I found last night that my bed-buddy’s uncle pasted away ( I knew him too). I fell bad that he died. And I feel bad that my bed- buddy and I where fight yesterday. Now don’t get me wrong I am still pissed at him deep down inside but I can put my anger aside to go to the wake. And I will let this fight die for the time being but there is no way I am going to let go what he said to me.

But in light of his uncles death it got me thinking of life and how I am living mine. And I love my life with all the crap that is in it God help me but I still love it. It’s mine and I wouldn’t change any of the bad for the world…it made me…ME.

But there are things that I want to do to change it and to be honest the only one that can anything about that is me.

And it’s as simple as life is to short to settle!

The past three days I have been watching Oprah and on Monday she had Pink on talking about our girls today and how they are turning into “STUPID GIRLS” and then yesterday and today it’s been about “OUR SCHOOLS” and it got me thinking about my daughter and what she needs. And the first thing she needs is me to do more. Yes I do homework with her and extra reading and math but I feel like I need to do more. And I think it starts with me!

MEN, MEN GOOD FOR ONLY 1 THING (AT LEAST THE ONES THAT I KNOW)

I can’t believe that I am still this pissed off…actually I can believe it. My asshole bed-buddy was so fucked up last night I that if it hadn’t been for the fact that my daughter was home I would have marched to his sister’s house slapped the shit out of him.

And the fact that he hasn’t even called or even text me to say sorry is pissing my off even more.

He is one of the most sensitive men that I have ever known. Over the weekend we got into an argument because when he came over on Saturday night (which by the way I called him to come over) I didn’t wait by the door for him and my greeting wasn’t as warm as he wanted it to be. I told him I was asleep when came in not to mention NAKED so I wasn’t going to stand at the door. It’s not like my apartment is a mansion and he couldn’t find me. And as he put it one day “I’m not his girlfriend” so what’s with the gushing at the door. I was tired I had been up that day since 9am so that was argument that in the ended he said that he wanted me to help him with a list of all the things that are wrong with him so I did it and then I did a list of all his good qualities.

Sunday we went to Toys R Us and he bought some stuff for my daughter (which I told him not to but he said he really wanted to do it). We had a nice afternoon. I then ask him if he’s working Monday
He says, “I’m afraid to answer that.”
I ask “why?”
He says, “Because then I’m obligated to drive you to work.”
I say, “YOU’RE NOT OBLIGATED TO DO ANYTHING!!!”

Yesterday he texts me and asks if I’m getting out at 1:30 I reply yes; which means that he wants to come pick me up. Two seconds later my sister calls and says that she’s in the area and she coming to get me so I text my bed-buddy back not even 5 minutes later. “You don’t have to come my sister is coming.”

I leave with my sister I pick up my daughter from school & go to my sister’s house for a little while still not hearing from him after I told him that my sister is coming. I must have called his stupid phone at least 10x’s and sent like 20 text messages I thought that maybe he didn’t get my message and was waiting at my job (which would have been fucked up) I get a message and hour later “GREAT” now anyone who texts knows that all caps means yelling or being pissed.

4 hours later I finally I get him on the phone he was a sleep the whole time. So I tell him you “What you can’t pick up the phone once and let me know that you got the message?”

He goes into how he was asleep and then he had other calls to return “More Important ones” (Very nice right)

I hang up we then begin arguing via text message and then he says to me (which is way I am so pissed off and I am quoting this from my cell phone)

“You never say morning, you probably did it so we would talk and I would pick you up and you probably took the ride with her also cause she had weed who knows with you.”


THAT IS SUCH BULLSHIT!!!!! I STOPPED TEXTING HIM THE MORNING CAUSE IAM ALWAYS THE ONE HOW STARTS IT AND I WANT TO SEE HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE HIM TO SAY GOOD MORNING TO ME FIRST.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE THINK I AM SOME KIND OF DRUG ADDICT!!!!!

He wants to know why the sex between us has been so far apart; he thinks it’s cause I think he’s ugly…well if he was he wouldn’t have been in my bed in the first place but I have stopped having sex with him because…
HE’S A DISRESPECTIFUL, RUDE, CRUEL & UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!