Flashing Back

There are some days that I wonder what life would have been like if things hadn’t turned out the way they had.
When I was a little girl and my parents started there family there thoughts were of raising there 3 daughters…3 daughters that’s what God gave them.
But then fate stepped in and dealt its hand and handed my parents 2 boys not a product of my parents love but a product of a love that they had for a very close family member gave them 2 boys.
So suddenly almost over night we became a family of 5 - 3 girls and 2 boys all of us close in age. And something else my parents didn’t realize was that at some point we were going to be teenagers at the same time. (Ha ha a cruel last minute punch line the Gods of fate failed to mention).
Now till this day I say my parents did the right thing even though my brothers took my parents love and never really appreciated it. Because of there situation with there mother (my aunt) my parents tried 3x’s harder to reassure them that they were loved and they were special (which like I said fell on deaf ears)
I wonder if my parents would have been more strict with me…
Would I have not been able to get away half the things I did in my teenage years…
How different would it would have been?
A friend of mine blogged the other day about fate and taking chances and not over thinking things.
Well I can honestly say that parents did that and it took a long time for understand that in there hearts they had no choose.
I do know that looking back at the chooses that my parents made yes it was good one it was selfless and extremely heart-felt and when they get to heaven my aunt will be there with open arms thanking them for all they tried to do for them. But in the end they can never get back the times they lost with me and my sisters.