Friday, October 14, 2005


As requested from my blog buddy Jaycei this a typical day in the Bronx.

Today was raining and I didn’t want to bother my drive me to drop my little one at school so we took the train; thank God it’s only one stop away. From there I walked to the bus that I catch to get to work. Of course I missed the one that I was suppose to be on 8:20am so I had to wait for the next one which comes at 8:50 and make me a half an hour late. I wouldn’t have been late except that my stupid bed-buddy gave me this card to get my Metro card and there was no money on it. I have to admit that it really helped last month to have the card and I really appreciated it but damn he could have told me that there wasn’t any money on it rather then letting me go and try. So I called him this morning and woke his ass up to find out what happened and what do I get “Oh I wasn’t sure.” IDIOT!!!!

I sent last night moving my room around it took me like 5 hours to do it but I did it all by myself. It felt good I mean shit I waited or my bed buddy and my cousin to help but there word is as good as fake money.

On Tuesday I took the day off from work which I really couldn’t afford to do it but I had to so that I could apply for food stamps. Not a fun day but I got it so now I do not have to worry about the JERK-OFF not giving me money for food.

I spent the rest of week after work home with my daughter doing our usual thing homework, reading, her playing, dinner, bath and then bed. During the week my life is pretty boring. I use to have a little bit of a social life before but since the money problem started I haven’t been able to go out. I miss going dancing.


Monday, October 03, 2005


I was having a conversation with my bed buddy about my life because I was telling about the three-hour speech I got from my dad on Thursday night. My dad has asked me the same question a few times; I guess he’s expecting me to have different answer. Anyway the question is “If God came down to me at this moment and said that my life was a mess and he is going to take me back in time to change things were would I want to go to?”

And my answer is will always be “When I was 8 ½ pregnant and I was ready to walk out on JERK-OFF at 3 am in the morning I would have.” I believe that he expects me to say I would change having my daughter but I could never say that or think that. Out of all the ugly bull shit that man has put me through and the all the lies he told me I would do all over again to have my little girl.

So my bed buddy said that if him and I hadn’t broken up we would have had our own child and I told him but it wouldn’t be her. I also told him that with the struggling I am going through right now there is no place I would rather be then were I am right now.

So on Friday I came to work and decided to play detective and in paying detective I found that JERK-OFF has been telling everyone that he if getting 5 years probation in that drug case but I called the court house and found that is a lie and his case is going to the GRAND JURY. And anyone that I have told that too says that is not a good sign. And to be honest I really hate being a bitch (even thought I am very good at it.) but he doesn’t respect the court papers I have to go to the police on Tuesday to file another complaint that he keeps dropping my daughter off late. It’s no longer my job to cover for this man.

He is suppose to be in court today for the assault case against him to show proof that he has been going to his anger management therapy which a lot of people say he hasn’t gone at all.
Let’s see but our court date to modify the visitation can’t come any faster.