Wednesday, February 17, 2010
When I was younger the decisions I made in life I made to make everyone else happy…to please them. To make them feel comfortable and I have learned along the way that the only person I made happy was them never me.
Now that I am in my 30’s I do what makes me happy of course I make sure I never hurt anyone along the way but in the end I do what I want when I want.
It bothers me still that the woman who was suppose to be my best friend…who said I was closer to her then her own sisters how when the friendship came to end – in the end it didn’t faze her. She gave more of a shit about some dumb fucker that screwed (literality) and left her. The guy only called her when he wanted ass and she would put ads for him Craig’s list she would obsess about him for weeks months to just open herself (legs) up to him.
But me who was her shoulder to cry for almost everything traumatic in her life she could careless that I am no longer in her life
And then there is my sister (older) it is taking all my willpower not to call her or email her and tell her off. A few months ago she called me talking all this crap about how her and I were so close growing up or as she put thick as thieves. Well as far as my memory and my mothers were nothing like that. As a matter of fact in our teenage days she did everything in her power to get away from me. And now she wants to be my buddy.
Well buddies don’t get in contact to the other’s ex-boyfriend (who had a secret crush on them) to restart their friendship again.
And they sure as shit don’t talk about them behind their back to everyone who will listen.
I mean really with friends and family like them who needs enemies.
Friday, February 12, 2010
~they say money is the root of all evil but is the Love of Money the true root~
She took the Bronx by storm in the 80’s. She had the most deadly and notorious crew known in the Bronx. The newspapers nicked named them the “Jessie James Gang” since robbery and murder was there taste and they were good at it. Know one was safe and they feared know one.
JESSICA - from a lost and lonely little girl to the stone-cold woman she grew into. She never shedding a tear even when she lost it all-rage is the only emotion she can relate to. Jessica Montes grabbed the Bronx by the balls with an iron grip. With no love in her life money and murder became her passion. Ruthless and very cunning a deadly combination but wrapped inside of a heart-stopping beauty made it lethal. Her long dark thick hair caught the attention of many men. But it’s been said if you caught the attention of her sharp piercing hazel-green eyes you would either end up lost in love, destitute or worse dead. With that much power it was only a matter of time before she stepped on the wrong toes.
Facing federal indictment charges Jessica reluctantly flees to another country. Leaving all that she knows and loves behind. Leaving with one goal in mind she must find the evidence that can put her away forever.
CESAR - lost his love 12 years ago…he wished he would have died that fateful night along with her. Instead he lived with the pain of losing his beloved. So he turned himself over to the FBI as an informant and turned on those who killed his Jessica the love of his life. To find out that she never died now he’ll stop at nothing to get her back.
Hector aka “Trigger” – known for his shoot first and ask questions later personality but better know as Jessica’s enforcer. They met when Jessica was a young teenage girl.-he saw himself in her. Both too smart for their own good. But when the shit hits the fan and they go their separate ways-Hector forgets about the“Trigger” he left behind in New York when he falls in love for the first time but is love enough to calm the beast within.
FBI Adam Ramsey – lost in his anger and the thirst for revenge he will stop at nothing to bring in Jessica and her crew dead or alive.
Leah – a small time Miami writer who falls in love with Hector (the man in hiding)…the man who owns his own small computer shop near South Beach. She gets caught up in a world wind of love and romance something she never felt like before but soon she ends up learning that the man she loves is a walking breathing Pulitzer Prize...one of the missing members of an infamous deadly gang.
What’s stronger Love, Money, Power or Revenge?
I remember back in my teen days and in my early 20's valentine's day was a big deal for me. But now that I am in my 30's it really doesn't mean as much. Not that I have anything against the holiday but I'm satisfied with a night way from being Mommy, a nice bottle of wine, dinner (that I didn't have to cook)and a jacuzzi.
I think guys have it right valentine's day should be more about being intimate then about the gift or the type of flowers you get.
Because if you don't get the right gift or the right flowers then that will ruin the day.
Monday, February 08, 2010
I think the thing that really bothers me about getting married and being married is how in time someone in the relationship ends just taking the other for granted. Like because you wash the cloths in the house you’re expected to do it all the time. Well what about the partner why can’t they do it from time to time or if you wash they put away or dry or whatever…the point is help.
Everyone says that living with someone is nothing like being married…crap lets scare me out of it more. SO the fuck what if my bra fell on the floor if it fucken bothers you that much then pick it up for me. I mean really.
If there is one thing I truly hate is when any man I am with tries to pee on me (not literally ill gross). Like “I’m the man of this house.” Puffing their chests like peacocks. Especially when they shouldn’t be so proud.
I got us where we are today…I found our dream home…it was me that had to forgive him to make this work…it was me that helped him to get his first job…and it was me that got the $$$ for our dream place and me that held down 2 jobs for such a long time for our dream home. And I did all of that because I wanted to make a home, a family for us.
But now it’s as if we are on two different pages. I would love know how he thinks our relationship would survive us if we gave up our apartment. Because first of all my $$$ went into that house so that means no security for a new place which means I or actually me and my daughter would have to move in my parents (which I don’t see how that would work at all. And he would have to move back into his mother’s. I know that there would be no way we could stay together no not after losing my dream house the house my grandmother said she saw as my house and how perfect it was for me.
But he doesn’t see that he doesn’t see us ending if we had to move cause there is no way I’m living in the living room of his mother’s no fucken way. But he can’t see that and I’m sure he’ll blame everyone else for his misfortune then himself
What is about him? Is it just that he is my daughter’s father that I let him get away with so much.