Tuesday, May 30, 2006


Yup that statement is all about me it is high time I took my Rose Colored Glasses off.

Just like I’ve been saying MR. JERK-OFF nice streak has faded…he hates me again. On Sunday I went to my sister’s for BBQ. I went up with a girlfriend so that I would have to be the one dateless. At the end of the night my girlfriend couldn’t take me to pick up my daughter at her father’s cause her son was all cranky from being in the sun all day. So I asked my bed-buddy to take me. Now I am not stupid I would never have another sitting in front of MR. JERK-OFF’s house 1. because it is very disrespectful and 2. he’s soo stupid that he would loss his mind. And why would I want to add that kind of drama to my life.

So I asked my bed-buddy to park around the corner, which he did, and like 5 cars up too at that. Now my daughter knows my bed-buddy she knows him as mom’s friend and she thinks he funny but he’s never stayed over my house while my daughter is home that is a big NO NO in my book.

So I pick up my daughter and we start walking around the corner. We get in the car; everything is good that is until we pull off and start driving away because who do I see standing on the corner but MR. JERK-OFF.

So it became 2 days (now 3 cause he just texted me a little while ago about this) of this texting messaging argument. It got to be so bad that I had to shut my cell phone off and then when I wasn’t answering the text messages he started calling me house.

“How could you bring that man to my house?”
“That was so wrong. And cold hearted of me.” (BRASS BALLS)

All I could say to that was “He wasn’t in front of your house and he was doing a favor and I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

Now I’m going back to court on tomorrow and if that man decides to make big deal about this I am going to have no choose but let them know that he’s been harassing me and about his bottle of me in house. Cause Moma didn’t raise no fool I kept the messages.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Being single is a decision that made I when I left my ex. And to be honest there is nothing or rather anyone out there who has changed my mind.

1.) Is my bed-buddy who is worse the 100 women suffering from PMS all at the same time. He’s moody and bitchy and finds everything in life miserable. The only time he’s ever happy is if he’s smoking a joint! (he’s a waste)
2.) Then second is my Cyber-buddy who I’ve had drinks with once but we talk on the phone every once in while. He can be so pushy “When am I going to see you? When? When? When?” And yes I am the first to say I don’t want a boyfriend but does every conversation have to be about sex. We do have stuff in common.
3.) Then the Boxer who calls me every once and a green moon and never wants to go out or have anything really to say. BORING!!!!
4.) And finally MR. JERK-OFF and anyone who has read my blog knows that he’s one step away from the Looney Bin!!! Enough said.

Any wonder why I don’t want a boyfriend. I am not looking for one nor do I want one.

By Natasha Bedingfield

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you

I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you

I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant
I'm single
(Right now)

That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)

That's how I wanna be
Ah yeah Uh Huh that's right
Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood


Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way
Eh I like it this way

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places Right now a star's in the ascendant

Monday, May 22, 2006


This is to answer the question that the men in my life are always asking me; "Mica what do you want from a man?"

Well if you have to ask then you know what you most-likely CAN'T DO IT!

But listening to Kelly Clarkson (Not the biggest fan but I like this song for this reason) she says it all:

I wanna man by my side
Not a boy who runs and hides
Are you gonna fight for me?
Die for me?
Live and breathe for me?
Do you care for me?
'Cause if you don't then just leave

Simply isn't Thumbs Up


So what can I say something crawled up MR. JERK-OFF ass because ever since Mother’s day he’s been nothing but nice to me. Yah right I am suppose to buy that when he still hasn’t given me any child support of course I know this new niceness in him is just some kind of trick. So my thought is if he wants to be that stupid and let me in a little then I am going to us it to my advantage.

For example MR. JERK-OF texted me over the weekend and in his texts he admitted to hacking into my computer, being so obsessed with me that he has bottle of my body fluid in his house (Yes I know GROSS!!!!), he’s admitted to drinking which he’s not suppose to cause he’s on probation and he’s admitted to getting married. What an asshole!!!! Now what have admitted to you may ask…I’ll tell you; ABSOLUTLY NOTHING!!!! I’m not that stupid.

So now I am going to come up with my own agreement for court. I’ll be fare but strict. I will have clauses for if he gets arrested again, if he doesn’t pay his child support. I am going think at least 5 years ahead so that he can’t slip anything by me.

But the funny thing is that he actually thinks that I am stupidDoofus cause here he is saying to me that he wants to take me out for a drink, or how much he misses making love to me, how he wants to take me and the baby away for the summer and what he would like to buy me…


Like I would take a gift from him especially when he owes me $$$$.

I will say this the system sure does suck cause they will let him get away with not paying for while before they do anything.

That’s why it’s my job to get my money and a little revengeVoodoo wouldn’t hurt. HA HA HA!!!!!

Friday, May 19, 2006

Just to let you all know

I haven’t been able to post as often as I want to because the idiot that uses to be my bed-buddy fucked up my computer somehow. I can still go online but every time I try to post a new blog the computer freezes; I can’t even send an email cause it freezes too. Which suck and my laptop isn’t online yet.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


I went to pick up my daughter from school today and we went about as usual. And when I got home I went to check the mail as usual but when I went inside I found something just sitting on the windowsill it was poster with a poem.

The Soulful Life

I don’t care to know how much knowledge you’ve acquired…
nor counties traveled;
I want to know you’ve given your soul a place to live.

Does your spine shiver over a wise poet’s words of grace?
Do you commune with nature long and with tireless wonder?
Have you know despair and dared to step fully into your chamber…
of darkness, transforming your terror into that of a trusted friend?

Can you thrill over a star streaked sky of the night,
tenderly wipe away a young child’s tears,
or marvel over the majesty of an artful masterpiece?

Are you a dreamer by day? A lover by night?
Does your own potential fill you with awe?
Do dreams of a peaceful world arouse you to ascending height of hope?

Does the mystery of the universe excite you beyond measure,
and can you feel the presence of power greater than yourself in all of your affairs?

Then join me on the path of wonder,
and I’ll meet you in a field of infinite possibilities.

By: Diane Loomans

And now after reading it for like the 4th time I fell that it’s tell me the kind of man I should be looking for.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


Well this weekend was Mother’s day weekend and let me tell you there wasn’t a single dull moment.

But before I get into me and my novella life I would like to say Thank you my girl Mia she created the beautiful page for me. Isn’t it awesome? She’s very talented. I tell you this I have never met her but I would love to because based on her blog I feel that we would get along great. So Mia girl “Thank you for the Awesome Page!!!”
Clapping Hands

My old bed-buddy actually tried to ruin my Mother’s day weekend and if were the type of person that cried for everything he most likely would have succeeded at it. He was all depressed because he’s have money problem (DUH WHO ISN’T) anyway so he decide to have an attitude and be a big baby. And it was my weekend so I choose to ignore him; I mean should I let him mess shit up for me.

Well the next day (Saturday) he was still in rare form and still tried to start shit with me but I wouldn’t have it. I called his mom to wish her a Happy Mother’s day and even told me that he baby and need to grow up and the best thing would be for to distant myself from him. But late that night I am enjoying a nice quite evening at home my daughter was a sleep I was in the living room enjoying a glass of wine when my cell phone rings with a text message:

“Happy Mother’s Day” from MR. JERK-OFF at 10pm

I didn’t even know it was him at first so I reply “Thank you”

Then he sends another one “We certainly made something beautiful didn’t we.”

I wanted to reply “No shit I made something beautiful not you because I am raising her to be a beautiful young lady.” But I didn’t I wanted to see were he was going with all the text messaging.

So I reply “Yes we did”

I then thanked him for switching the days so I could have her on mother’s day.

He replies. “Your welcome and thank you for giving me the only thing that mattes in this world it could have happened with anyone else but you I hope you understand that.”

Again I held back what I really wanted to say which was “Asshole if you cared so much about you daughter you would do everything you needed to be a father that she could look up to.

But instead I said nothing. I wanted to see were he was going with this. Because he hasn’t been nice for a very, very, very long time.

Well, were it went was him reminiscing; How beautiful we were when we were together, calling me by my nickname “Sunshine”. Then he got a little personal and gross telling me he still remembers how I taste. Then he starts telling me how he wishes that I were there right there with him toasting with.

Now I know that the man was drunk trying to be all nice. I know what he was trying to do…he was trying to get on my good side so that I can drop my court case. YAH RIGHT BUDDY LIKE I AM THAT STUPID!!!!
What I want is for him to walk into court thinking that “Yah I got this girl right were I want her.” I want him to think that so that when he arrested for not paying Child support he will be the one that get caught off guard.


Friday, May 12, 2006


Yesterday God spoke to me.

I was walking to the train station from dropping off my daughter at school. I was a little pissed…well more like depressed because I was about to go the bank and take out money that I really didn’t have to take out. And as the voice in my head is yelling me “Mica, DON’T DO IT!” I looked down and found $50.00 folding nicely on the floor. I was trilled I must have thanked God all the way home.

Then on my way to work listen to my walk-man on the bus; it was like the angels of BREAKING-UP were trying to tell me something.

When I started this blog it was because every journal I had MR. JERK-OFF violated my privacy and read it so I figured why just let the whole world read about my life. I figured someone out there would get something helpful from the NOVELLA that is my life.

So after listening to all those sad songs yesterday I thought of starting another blog page. This one is called 12—Steps-to-Moving-on.

I figured I have been stepped on kicked and put down and still I believe in love and living happily ever. I have to believe that for my daughter’s case she should have her chance at love…the good, the bad and the some times ugly (even though I do hope it’s not too ugly further). So why not start another blog that might help some people get over the ex. I mean shit to be honest it really took me a long time to get over that ASSHOLE and he’s a JERK so I can just imagine how hard it must be to get over a great guy or girl don't worry I won't be male bashing...although that is a lot of fun too!! Joking!!!!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


Sometimes being around my sisters can be a little too much to handle…growing up with them was even harder. (One older and one younger I am the middle)

Last night was my grandmother’s birthday. She is the greatest woman in the world and if I had my last $5.00 I would have spent it on her. So for her birthday I brought her a big bouquet of flowers. I swear I wasn’t there in my grandmother’s house no more then 5 minutes when my sisters started their bullshit.

Younger sister: “All you’re wearing a wife beater that’s it?”

Older sister: “With a black bra?” She said as if I had shit on my shirt.

I respond sarcastically: “NO I have a three piece suit on under this.”

Now to most people that might seem like nothing but to me it’s them repeating themselves over and over. Ever since high school (When I was allowed to start buying my own bras) I have never wore a white bra. 1.) Because white gets dirty so fast & 2.) Because I have never found one that I liked. So I have always worn either a colored bra or a black bra under my shirts. I figure how cares it’s a bra. But most importantly I HAVEN’T HAD THE MONEY TO SPEND $50.00 ON A NEW WHITE BRA JUST TO MAKE MY SISTERS’ HAPPY!!!! ESPECIALLY SINCE I HAVE BEEN DOING IT SINCE FOREVER.

I just feel that the comment was unnecessary.

So a few minutes later we were just about to cut the cake and I go up get the plates for the cake and then told my mother to cut the cake for my grandmother. Of course she said, “You do it”. But let me be honest I am the WORSE cake cutter in the world. I don’t cut a slice I butcher it. Which my mother knows but of course she didn’t care. And of course here comes the two who can’t keep their mouths shut.

Younger sister “You cut it Mica.”
I say. “I can’t do it. I don’t know how.”
Older sister. “Oh stop bullshitting. How hard is it?”
Younger sister “Ya you worked in a bakery.”

Now this is were the stupidity of my sisters’ come to play; I worked in a bakery when I was 16 years old…hello I am 31 now. And just because I worked there doesn’t mean I am an expert in cutting cake.
Well I said nothing to them I just walked away. My grandmother then starts saying how beautiful her flowers are and here comes my older sister.

“Um where’s my birthday gift?”

Now prior to MR. JERK-OFF and my beautiful little girl I use to get my sisters expensive gifts pretty much what ever they wanted. I made a big deal about their birthdays. I have thrown them birthday parties, rented limos and bought them really nice things. Now it’s very difficult for me to spend more than $20.00 on them. They know how difficult it’s been for me.

So I tell her. “My check this month only covered the rent and bills maybe next month I’ll have extra money.”

What does she do…makes a stupid face and turns her back on me.

I tell you I couldn’t wait to get out of there.