Friday, January 20, 2006


Hey people,

My blog will be moving soon not right now but VERY SOON.

I have a new blog address and because the phyco that I call MR. JERK-OFF I can not post the blog address.

But for those you that want to keep reading about me email me and I will email you the new address.

When I move I will let everyone know but until that day I will keep posting on this one.

Monday, January 16, 2006



Faith something my mother knows little about having in a person or in there dreams. She believes that if you can’t hold it with both your hands it isn’t real.

I watched on Friday night I think it was 20/20 a thing about Stupid in America how our school system is making our children stupid. And to a point I agree that our school system is lacking and yes some schools may do the whole passing a student even though they may not deserve it. But honestly do people really think that is why our children are growing up stupid?

Come on it starts in the home the father who’s never around or the mother that has to work 2 jobs just to keep a roof over her children’s head and food on the table. And now a days families are a thing of the past parents are divorced most of us never bothered to even walk down the isle.

Somehow a long the way we became a society were we just don’t have the time to spend with our families there for not paying any attention to our kids dreams; so how can they stay motivated. We are too busy worrying about that bill we need to pay or how we are going to come up with the rent. Or the thing that keeps up at night how are we going to get that new thing that our kids are driving us crazy to get for them.

Maybe if our government stopped and helped single parent households or families that make minimum wage to pay there bills we wouldn’t have to worry about so much in turn giving time to be home with our children.

Here’s an idea take someone like me I am fighting with a complete and total ASSHOLE for my child support. I can prove that he is my daughter’s father and he’s not paying the government should give me the money and they should go after him to get there money back. Haven’t they stopped and thought that if they help the kids maybe there won’t be any more well-fare or at lets not as high as it now.

Why should the kids suffer?

I guess this all is coming from a conversation that I had with my mother a little while ago. She’s upset that my father doesn’t help with the car insurance one of them is the one my father is holding for me. She wants to sell it because he’s not helping her. But forget the fact that he’s holding it for me to help me. She wants me to come up with money that I just do not have - money for the insurance. I know that owning a car is a lot responsibility money wise; there’s insurance, gas, up keep etc. So wouldn’t it be irresponsible of me to just jump into and the fact that I never wanted like older sister did or drained my parents on college or a wedding shouldn’t they hang on to the car for me because honestly its not just for me it for me and my daughter.

Thursday, January 05, 2006


Proving my father and my bed-buddy wrong is something I am really looking forward it. But was I am really looking forward to is proving to myself that I can anything I set my mind to.

I know that people need other people but I absolutely hate relying people especially when it’s those two.

So that is one of my New Year Resolutions:

1.) Stop relying on my father and my bed-buddy so much
2.) I must surround myself with people that with people that not just believe in me people that never say quit or die.

I will keep my list going as the month of January keeps it going. I will finish my complete on the last day of January.

I am not going to my quitting my little cigarette problem as a resolution it’s a bad habit that I started up again like 5 months ago.

And finishing my book isn’t a resolution either because I am a writer and if I expect to get paid for it I have to do what I have to do to get what I want.

But I have been thinking about is my Brooklyn-Boy… I think that really turned me on about him is the fact that he is a clean slate. He knows nothing of past and as nothing to do with MR. JERK-OFF except the fact that he recorded our conversation once. SICK I KNOW!

All I know for sure is that 2006 is a year of endless possibilities and I plan on taking advantage of as many of them as possible.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006


My family has an abundance of negativity and usually it's all thrown at me. Like I don't think things through. They treat me like I'm 13 and not 31.

I have been writing about having to move in April which to be honest I am looking forward to it. Moving for me is like a fresh start - clean slate. He wants me to find an apartment and keep paying the outrages prices in rent. And not being able to even claim it on my taxes to me seeridiculouslus. I am ready to own something. I mean shit if I am going to pay $1000 a month should't I be able to own the property. But of course my father tried to find every possible negative reason as to why I shouldn't do it; oh the area is bad but what neighborhood doesn't have it moment, what if you don't get the loan come wouldn't I make sure I got it first. Which makes me want it even more just to prove to him I can do it.

And then there is my bed-buddy the other negative person in my life. To be honest I really think that because he doesn't understand that I can stretch a dollar and bleed a penny till it dies. So the fact that I make such little bit of money and I can still have a home and all the things that I have; drives him crazy. Rather then being proud because I can do this on my own.

So what do I say about these negative people who try to fuck with my head "FUCK'EM IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK THIS TIME!"


I would like to do something with my site...Make it more me but I am dumb when it comes to stuff like that. I have seen so many GREAT Blog sites out there so how can I make mine just as nice more to look like the person I am. Like mine right was is pink and I hate pink.

Can anyone point me in the right direction?

Sunday, January 01, 2006


2006 a different year a different time a clean slate. You could either start a new year thinking that things will be different or you could go into the new year the same old pain and fears from late year.

What I can’t believe that my last dream for 2005 was of FloridaMan. I haven’t thought of him in months since I found out he was getting married. I chose to forget my feelings for him and keep on moving.

FloridaMan…I can’t believe I dreamt of him so clear his face it was nice to see it again. It hurts my heart to think of him. I must admit I do miss him.

January 1, 2006

My first blog of the new year and I woke up this morning feeling GREAT!!!! I made the choose to spend New Years Eve with my daughter alone. It was stress free & drama free. I didn’t have to worry about anyone driving drunk or any fights that night. We spent a nice night at home I cooked her favorite chicken cutlet, breaded shrimp, mash potato and cranberries. She loved it and so did I. Like I said it was GREAT!!! And I truly believe that 2006 is going a really Great year. This is mine and my little one’s year!!!!