Monday, March 28, 2005


There is one word to describe the feelings that I have for my ex and that is DISGUST!!!!
For the past 9 years I have gotten the same bullshit from him which is when ever he's pissed at me which to be honest is quite often...He acts out and starts calling me names and insulting me. To then realize days later that he can't live with out me and then comes the presents, the flowers, the letters and cards. And they would all say the same thing "How much he loves me and how sorry he is for treating me the way he does."

When I left him the first time I lelt because he was so selfish and so self - involved I couldn't take it anymore.

Two years later I got back together with him because he promised me that he was a changed man and for the sack of our daughter; I really wanted to believe him too but of course one year later he went back to him same old bullshit of the street being more important than me and his daughter and putting me down.

When they made up the saying "Fool me once shame on you" "Fool me twice Shame on me" they must of had me and my JERK-OFF ex in mind.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Sometimes you just have to do you

I believe that I am surrounded by signs; leading towards the path I am destined to follow. My personal beaten path. I have spent far too much time doing the things that my father & MR. JERKOFF always putting myself last. So now I have decided to do me. Do what I think is right for me and my Angel…live our life my way. That means my home my way; my career my way.

All I have to do is brave and believe in me and I can see the some doors opening a crack so it’s up to me to open them up.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Cocky, Cocky, Cocky

It’s funny how he thinks the things that he does can possibly make a difference to me. And I’m saying that not to be a bitch it’s just the truth. I know that shit was fucked up between me and MR. JERKOFF before his legal problems but I never once thought that he do would anything that jeopardized anything to come between him and his daughter.

Now anything that he does it just too little too late.

All he ever thinks about is himself and how he doesn’t have me and the last thing he thinks of is our daughter. And to be honest I am tired of reminding him of her, of spending time with her. I shouldn’t have to.

And I have spent far to much time actually wasting my time on my daughter’s father and men before him and I just haven’t put anything into my life. No More.

I have been so busy the past few weeks trying to get a part time bartending gig. Then a writing gig fell into my life - so I have been running around like a crazy woman.

I am working for a new world this summer…..