Saturday, July 24, 2010

We Learn Even From Th Bad

I know I have been MIA for a little while and that is because life stepped in and reminded me that I'm not the 1 behind the wheel.
A few weeks ago a friend of mine passed away at the very young age of a very freak accident. So between me & LB ending, my supposed BF trying to come back in my life and just simply being a bitch in the end & WBH I was feeling lost and very confused...I felt no purpose. But then 1 morning I up and was just tired of being sad and I started feeling like my old self again. But in doing that I started to realize something about me a question that has been stirring in the back of mind for as long as I can remember...
Now I know I am a Lover of Love BUT am I capable of being & staying in a committed relationship?
I mean my own blood the people who are suppose to except you no matter want to try and change me & I won't change & I rebel all the time against them I'm a million times worse with a man.
I don't know what I'm going to do about the plan I set for my 36 bday because honestly I don't know if I want a relationship anymore...
But I can't help but wonder if I can live without love? Can I just be happy living in lust?
Sent from my BlackBerry® by Boost Mobile

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

I'm still at a loss for words

There are days I want to scream out the world "WHAT THE FUCK ARE TRYING TO TELL ME?" But I can't because people will look at me strange.

Last night I treat my lil 1 & WBH out to dinner and while I'm standing in the door way lost in thought about nothing really-I get a tap on my shoulder and who should it be LB.

Why is I never ran into him before or when I'm alone or with my girls but the 2 times I do I'm with WBH.

So I did like I usually do...calm and cool like he is just anyone and he wasn't alone either but to be honest I barely looked at her. I was too busy being in awe at the fact the he said hello & when I turned around to try and do an introduction WBH wasn't there so there was need for it. I have other close calls as well.

Its strange...
Sent from my BlackBerry® by Boost Mobile