Friday, May 28, 2010

Weird World

Last night my mind was filled with thoughts...

1 being my mother we have such a strange relationship...good but not as good as a mother & daughter relationship should be. Maybe because at one point we crossed the line of mother & daughter and attempted to be friends. And well friendship is not something a mother & daughter should attempt.

And here is why...mothers will except, love & appreciate our matter how mad we get at them... even disappointed that love & hope we have for them will always be there for our children it never goes away. And to a point that same love and exceptions for the child towards the mother is the same BUT since we are the adult-and we give guidance in this life there is always the possibility of us (the mom's) popping that bubble of MotherGreatness.

I don't want to be my daughter's friend. I'm satisfied with just being her knight in shining armor...:that's good enough for me.

My 2nd thought is of course is WBH. And I wonder if ALL men are like him & the rest of the jerk wods I've dated? There is a line from 1 of Pink's song and the quote I believe describes me to the T...
"I Do Not Trust So I Can NOT Love"
I have such a hard time trust men...because every time a put a little afford in them they turn around and show there true colors.
And the appreciation goes out the window.

I cook dinner every night, I wash is clothes, I keep the house & a million other things and WBH complains about cleaning up dog shit & feed the dog for me...what kind of crap is that. And today lil1 called she isn't feeling well now he's off (cuz he don't have a job lazy shit) but of course who is picking her up from school? ME why you may ask since I am the one at work. Because he has to go to the gym give me a break.
And now the business now he has all this money to advertise but what about when I was running it he didn't have a dime to spare.
3rd thought my supposed GF...she emailed, she came looking for me after our BIGGGG blow out and every time we have tried to get together she canceled I've available been available. And now she complaining as to why I don't call her (since we've been trying to get together) and I'm the hell can she be bitchy about me not calling.

And you know what I'm not even mad...I should be but I'm not. WBH is partly my fault because I honestly wanted to believe that he found his way. What can I say I'm a sappy sucker.

I just want some peace.

1 last thought I am missing being single. I know anyday now WBH is going to start bitching about my new social life & you know what I don't care if he does bitch...all I care about is getting out debt
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