Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I didn't know I care so much...lie yes I did

Its a sad thing when I lie to myself...I was really liking lover boy...the more I hung out with him the more I wanted to hang with him. I so loved the way he looked at me like I was the dish of ice cream and he was the spoon (I got that the Jane Austin book club movie i've always thought that was a great line). He made me feel brilliant & amazing. He looked at me the way I look at myself.

But it ended today and I am very sad my heart is so heavy right now I really liked him or rather maybe I like how he treated me.

But how will I know that something like that those feelings, those looks last forever, they didn't for my parents, my aunts, my sister or me for that fact... I gave my heart and trust to WBH and look where I am today...and I'm not even talking about the past I'm talking about present bullshit he's doing right now...(I'm sure he will see he is doing nothing wrong yet again)

How do I trust another man?
But again I know I deserve more?
He did show me how I want to be treated?

He showed me what I want in a relationship and what scares the shit out of me when it comes to them as well?

I don't think I can handle my heart breaking not completely not again?

But regardless I do know 1 thing for sure I sure as shit can't keep living like this with WBH.

Well 2 thing this is really hurting me
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