Monday, June 07, 2010

SHHHH a Secret About ME

My sisters believe that I don't want or need a man and to be honest that is so not true...but I don't want the men that are around me right now...I want a man that I WANT not one that I NEED...huge difference.

Last night showed me...or actually reminded me that this is my life and only I can change shit in my life and who is suppose to walk though life with me isn't going to solve my problems but rather enhance my life and will be bring out all the greater qualities of me...because he sees them in me and wants me to shine...

He will be a man that sees me cry and not want to fix the problem but just wants my tears to end.

And he won't want tears to end because they anger him or annoy him but because it kills him to see me cry. He would be the type of man with a heart of gold and would see me as his equal and won't make my accomplishments out to be less then what they are.

But I wonder if I am even capable of being with 1 man forever living happily ever after. I think that all the times my heart has been broken it made the part of me that trust fade away.

If I could I would love to make the perfect man to go with the perfect me...Strong, confident, sexy, powerful (meaning sensing & feeling ones own true power there potential) driven...someone that enhances my true me.

The perfect man...would see me cooking up a storm in the kitchen lost in the aromas I am creating and when I'm either stirring the food or washing dishes he sees a strap from dress fall off the shoulder & he can't resist but to come over and kiss my neck as he runs his hand over my body because he's happy I'm there for him.

And as I lay in bed night after night and wonder why he doesn't want to lay next to me. Why doesn't he hand want to wonder towards me I also wonder if it is like this in all relationships.
Does the interest-the PASSION always fade?

Or is it possible just even a little of that spark will remain even a little because I need that in a relationship. I need to feel desired that is very important to me or I'm asking for too much?

But in a nut shell I do want a man but I want one that appreciates the sexy woman i am, that's cooking his meal, washing his cloths that just appreciates me for me and doesn't want to to change me.

A man that thinks of me and puts me first and loves to make me happy and my tears are his weakness because it pains him to just to see 1 fall from eyes. He will understand that I'm only human and there are days I need time be to alone because he knows me getting to know myself better makes a better a person.

HA HA HA HA Maybe I am asking for too much?

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